why should i be afraid of aging?
The skincare industry is 100% based on the fear of aging. Skin care and makeup to hide wrinkles and sun spots.
"Aging gracefully" is nonsense
Watching the older women in my immediate family talk about themselves is disheartening. They are confidently themselves when it comes to their personality, but they seem to shrink when talking about their bodies.
I feel internal, subconscious pressure to explore the world, take risks, take hot pics, and do physically strenuous activity while I'm still technically young and spry. I don't feel that young and spry though.
I think deep down, my greatest fear in terms of aging is losing independence. I fear the feeling of loss of dignity and respect from others when you can't shower or use the bathroom yourself. I'm afraid of how small the world can get when you no longer have the ability to move as you want.
Greatest creativity comes from restraints or something.
Sometimes I wonder if I'm fully enjoying and embracing life as I should be. Honestly, the answer is likely no. I don't think about how limited by time my physical body is. If I did think these thoughts more, would I live with more conviction? With greater purpose? Again, maybe not. Likely no, haha. But with more mindfulness? Yea, maybe.
I think I'm excited to to age into myself, like cheese. I'm actually excited to have a fully developed frontal lobe. I'm still really fucking scared of losing mobility and independence though. When I die, I really hope my ashes are made into a gem, fertilizer, or something nice.