In middle school I spent a lot of time reading, partially because I didn't have a consistent source of internet, but also cause it was fun! I was mostly reading as a form of escapism and because it was just fun imagining being in new worlds and being the main characters in these fantastical books.

Like a lot of people I know, I stopped reading books for fun during high school as I got a consistent source of internet and I had to "read" books (thank you SparkNotes) I wasn't that interested in for English classes.
Side Note: Although I didn't like English class at the time, I can really appreciate the skills my teacher tried to teach us now.

Although I stopped reading, I didn't really stop "imagining new worlds" and stuff since I had switched to reading manga and web comics/cartoons. Though, these forms of media mainly exposed me to new stuff and ideas rather than expand my imagination or anything since I had images/ visuals to reference and use to my imagine rather than coming up with images in my head from descriptions and words.

Now, my motivations for readings has kinda sorta changed but they're still pretty similar. I initially started reading again because I wanted to go back to longer forms of media and engage my brain (I realized I love character analyses) but I still basically only read fiction because it's fun imagining these different stories and lives.

In middle school, I remember being in the library and passing by the audio-books, which were tape recorders with wired headphone attachments, and thinking they were strange. Funny enough, I basically only read through audio-books now! It's super compatible for me (and my shrinking attention span) since I usually listen to books as I do something pretty mindless (driving, cleaning, walking, etc.).

Recently, I've started reading the Night Circus by Erin Morgenstern and I realized, it's definitely a book that's better read than listened to. It's so magical. The way the time-line jumps around is so fun. BUT, because the time period jumps and the narrator changes a lot, I think being able to flip back and look at other chapters for clarification would definitely add to my reading experience. It's not really worth the hassle to go back in audio-books to just see what year the previous chapter was set in compared to the current chapter, especially when I'm driving (which is when I listen to my books the most).

On the other hand, there are some books that the audio adds a lot to the reading/listening experience. I really enjoyed listening to The Dutch House by Ann Patchett and it's been one of my favorite audio-books of all times (lots of credit to Tom Hanks who narrated the book). However, it was also a book with a single timeline from a single character's narrative so not a lot of flipping around and cross-checking and referencing necessary.

There are also books where I am conflicted about whether listening to the audio-book or reading the physical/digital books would be better. Brave New World by Aldous Huxley was so fucking fun. In the audio-book, there were parts where the narrator literally starts yelling/ screaming. I was so jump-scared when I heard it that part of the book and narrator's inflection also made me super uncomfortable at times. All of dis made the entire listening experience so fun and engaging! Highly recommend! However, there was so much going on that I can't help but wonder if I missed anything. Brave New World is definitely a book I want to reread in word format HAHAH.

I know there isn't one media form that's better than the other but I can't help but compare. When it comes to audio-books, i can get through books I'm not as interested easier. There's still a threshold to how much i can dislike a book * cough * Nightbitch * cough * before i stop listening.

I also think I am more engaged with the content when I'm listening. I know when I'm physically reading, I tend to skim when I get disinterested or if it's really intense and I just wanna know whats the outcome out of excitement. I rarely skip when listening to audio-books, so I'm engaging more, right? I wonder if I was reading to The Dutch House instead of listening, would I have dropped it or gotten bored since the stakes and tension isn't high? It's a historical fiction book that mostly just talking about this dudes weird ass life, not as tense as a fantasy fiction, yk?

Now that I've gone back to listening to books, I am know flexing that imagination muscle more. I wonder if the next step is to go back to more reading physical books.

I occasionally would read a physical book when I had an audio-book that was too good and I was too impatient to wait for my next drive or mindless task. I would start reading the physical text because I needed to know whats going on STAT. I remember one time when I was listening to The Poppy Wars by R.F Kuang, there was an instance when I didn't have anything I could do while listening but I had to know what was going to happen next, so I rolled myself up in a burrito, put the audio-book on, laid on the couch, and stared at my ceiling. Haha. Fun times.

However, when a book is not as initial captivating, even if the premise is super cool, i just end up giving up and feeling guilty for not finishing it. I bought Symbiote by Michael Nayak and the premise is super freaking cool, but I just can't get myself to read more than 50 pages at a time. When I do start reading it, I really enjoy what I'm reading, but I get distracted by my cat or it's time for me the board my flight, and I don't have the urge to pick it back up. Maybe it's the book though? Not sure.

When I started reading the e-book version of The Familiar by Leigh Bardugo, I did not finish. When I picked it back up later via audio-book, I was able to finish the book and enjoy it. The Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo by Taylor Jenkins Reid and Circe by Madeline Miller though, oh my. It was hard prying myself off those books and be present during the vacations I was on when I was reading them.

I feel like reading a book (including e-books) is a such a different experience than listening. Reading is so much more immersive. I know I would be reading, be forced to stop, and be so dazed because in my head I was immersed in that book setting. When I'm listening to a book, I still immersed in a book, but I still am looking at the road or the wall and aware of my surroundings. However, if I limited myself to only read books, I would not be reading very much I think. I feel like there's a quality versus quantity argument here.

1. Audio-books are more convenient and therefore I'm engaging in more books. And I'm listening books I otherwise wouldn't be as interested in/ would finish if read.
2. Reading a book is more immersive and engaging. I sit with the words and impact more and using that imagination muscle more too.
   
   

At end of the day, does it matter? Nah. Listening to audio-books has made me love reading again and I love all the roller coaster of emotions I'm experiencing and view points I'm learning about from these books. I'm grateful that audio-books has brought me this joy, even if I wish I could get into reading physical books again.

#book #rant